we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My breasts were aching with rage.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
