then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
