Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The uberlube is also flammable
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
