Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
