Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
