omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize