Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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