Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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