2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
