He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
