Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
