i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Randomize
