Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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