At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
