ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
