I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
