after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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