but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize