Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
