i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
