The maid of honor just puked.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
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hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize