hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
