Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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