somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
