you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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