So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
This house was built for laser tag.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
