hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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