i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
