Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's blow job season.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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