Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
