he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
