I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
