READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize