kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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