I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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