whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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