yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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