just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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