I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
