is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?