When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
