Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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