Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sorry about my life...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
