The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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