I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
