"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
