Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
