Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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