I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He felt like a one man threesome
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
