you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
