So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
