i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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