they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize