Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's always time for handjobs
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They have beer where we have blood.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
