Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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