halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
