I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize