is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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