i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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