put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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