Cold hands, warm shart.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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